To Greg — and I know you'll be reading at some point — I have had way way bigger, more significant and more important things to worry about in a multitude of dimensions in my life these last few weeks than your discomfort and sense of innocence. Life and death things. Life plan things. Mental health things. Collapse and rebuilding.

I have not had emotional capacity or interest in engaging with you. Because even seeing that little red 1 overlaid on your face staring out at me from the Discord side-panel is enough to put a bolt of adrenaline through my body. That you make zero space for my own timeline of anger, destabilisation, sadness, regret, reflection and reintegration and do not even consider that I may be suffering as a result of your bullshit just as you are from mine, is the problem. That you feel so entitled to reach out to me and center your emotional needs, and that you retreat and lash out when I do not immediately drop what I'm doing and make space for your discomfort in my life (and to my distress), is entirely the problem.

These actions show that you are totally ignorant of concepts such as 'trauma informed' and their deeper meaning. Your behaviour is unsafe for others and completely self-centered.

Please understand, you and all the other Regen bros and people with privilege in all contexts everywhere (me too). Your comfort is the problem. Your feelings are not important. I don't relish the thought of talking to you about your male fragility nor about the toxicity you still need to understand and compost within yourself. I haven't relished writing this piece and publishing it; it's just something that I felt like I needed to move my body through in order to release the tension and distress.

Catharsis. I write this to heal from your actions. I'm not sorry.

Because I know you'll be out there stomping your feet and shaking your fists about this and the stories I've heard of your behaviour on your exit from Neighbourhoods were frankly quite shocking and appalling to me. I have not "refused your requests for dispute resolution". I have ignored your one direct message, as if the intensity of your reaction could in any way be less justifiable than it being a result of me not responding to literally a single communication attempt on a single communication vector.

I didn't respond because I did not have the emotional space or capacity to engage with what was probabilistically in my assessment of your past behaviour some self-involved request for me to hold space for your feelings and absolve you of your own guilt about your ignorant racist and sexist actions. I haven't even read it yet. I probably will before I hit 'publish' on this; but I want my first response to be an authentic off-the-cuff reflection rather than defensiveness or attack.