seems like the real issue is that people are encouraged to join (public) pubs, so instead of forming separate communities everyone ends up in the same room. not everyone is going to get along, and thats fine. it isn't even that "friend of a friend" is a bad idea. pubs are at the center of the social graph that you don't like. a public pub doesn't filter its friends, any rando that shows up will become a friend of the pub and get within your follow distance if you are on the same pub.

honestly, this isn't surprising at all. i spend a lot of time in what you would call "toixic" circles and my pub is pretty popular. i've made it invite only because my poor sbot is losing its mind, and i don't want to be a centralizing force in the scuttleverse. i'm not claiming to be the cause of the issue, but i disagree that the problem is in the model. the problem is that the topology of the internet makes pubs necessary and unless that problem is solves, pubs are going to keep pushing us into crowded spaces that make everyone upset.

so get on hyperboria and unfollow all the pubs!