something i learned from you @rich over the weekend at nowhere was how to start an adventure. since i've made the mistake of comparing myself to others, i thought i wasn't good at adventures, i don't really like being mischievous, i tried and failed at every on-the-spot improv situation with the #cult-of-desmond. but then you offered a simple adventure, let's build a dam in the river. it was so silly, so slow, so cooperative, so spacious, so welcoming, oh so perfect, i had so much fun. and if i look at adventures with that lense, i've already been doing these types of adventures with Desmond, i know i can do these slow adventures, i'm keen to host more.

on the day after the dam, after @matt and i played with synths and voices by the river using Matt's new off-grid sound system, we sat on the hill and tried to play again. we tried, then somebody came up to us and asked us about the synths, and we lost the groove. we went down a rabbit hole, we lost all hope, everything was broken, nothing made sense, we'd have to start over. wait, maybe there was another way, then somebody else came up to us, someone who had the party energy alive in them, someone who knew how to share the party energy. soon enough, they bring a child to join us, i give the child the mic, they say "i don't know what to say". so i loop (manually with my voice since i don't have an off-grid looper yet) "i don't know what to say" with the voice processor. a smile, the party is starting, Matt continues laying down the beats. next up, a bunch more children join us on the hill, i give them the mic again, they call for the smallest child down the hill, who gets up and tries their voice, smiling when it's unlike their usual voice. the party energy is growing, the beats still being made. then a parent starts dancing at the bottom, slowly making their way up the hill, being silly with every step. everyone smiles, the party bursts with energy, all the parents are dancing on the hill, all the children are playing with the microphone, Matt holding down the beats, everyone gives up everything to that hill, we lose ourselves to the party.

what is the difference from the two humyns on the hill, each excited about the synths, one who gets us down and one who brings us up? maybe there was nothing different between them, maybe everyone was in the eb and flow of our moods, but i have a suspicion there was something different about them, what energy they brought to the party, what energy they consumed from the party, what space they held, what awareness they had, how they invited others, how they got amongst. as you say Rich, partying is a skill.

also, as @matt brought up at Nowhere, parties are somewhat risky, there's nothing worse than having a bad time at a party, when it seems like everyone else is having a great time and you're not, the party is mocking you. another skill in partying well is to notice when a bad time is coming on and being prepared to take care of yourself. for me, when i'm having a bad time, which is usually expressed as getting stuck in a mind loop and feeling anxious and alone, i find a friend who i can squeeze in silence.

the final comment in this stream of consciousness is about hosting parties. last year for Kiwiburn i was given the opportunity to be a "greeter", the humyn who welcomes you onto the paddock when you arrive, who opens the space for you to enter. while i love being with humyns, i usually over-think the interactions and so get anxious. but as a greeter, i had a protocol to follow, a pattern for interaction, a flow to follow so i didn't have to second-guess what i was doing. a car arrives, i ask them "hey, welcome! do you want a hug?", usually the answer is yes and i give them a big hug, i love sharing hugs! then i get to be silly, "we have this portal which will take you into Kiwiburn, go over on that side and come through, we'll see you again on the other side", then they go through the portal, really a tent with some fabric hanging inside and some instruments we can play while they go through, then "yay you made it, welcome to Kiwiburn, welcome home!" and so on... introducing the cultural concepts, consent by asking for a hug, playfulness with the portal, the burn as your home, etc. after this experience, i noticed this might be why i like hosting #art~hack every week, i wanted a space to be creative with other humyns, i found the existing spaces to be too overwhelming and not enjoyable, so i made my own space where i get to be the one who welcomes everyone in and holds the vibe, i like creating and sharing good spaces.

#crab-meet

OMG that pic at the end #butts